Mundanemundanemundane where is the peak of this hill

Is it possible to feel bored during a time when I should be excited planning future things incl holidays and events with friends, lonely and needing in a relationship and bored during what should be an exciting time at work? Rather...is it normal? Just been feeling a bit blase and unsatisified....not sure if Im making it worse and making it a "real" problem by continue to dwell on it and thinking and writing about it.

Thing is I have no reason to feel this way...maybe just hyper-aware that this situation that I am in can be taken away at any time. That I could be disappointed, betrayed because of my expectations of how things should go (which are usually higher than reality)

Maybe it's just ennui - boredom and restlessness because not too many things are trully going wrong. OR its underlying anxiety that all my choices arent going to work out...re: work re: relationship re: financial choices.

Sigh.

I think I keep on ignoring this feeling by watching youtube...distracting myself with further travel plans in patagonia. Maybe im just distracting myself from all my wrong choices??? I dont know. Feel bored. But at the.same time like im teetering on ice.

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